PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
