mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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