Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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