Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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