she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
