i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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