How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
