So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
