I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
