im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
