I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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