What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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