I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize