Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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