Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
