Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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