my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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