We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
