I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize