I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
