Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
