D3 body, D1 cock
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
