so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
