So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
