you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize