im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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