so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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