R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
