I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize
