THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
