You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize