Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
