Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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