remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
