This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
