i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
