Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize