Non-Jews are for practice
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
