someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
