id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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