just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
