i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
