did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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