just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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