Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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