we have officially lost it.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
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I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
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He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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