FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
