I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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