im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
