There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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