In the future we'll all be gay
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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