it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
