I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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