Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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