My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
