Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
