I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
