I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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