I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
