smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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