I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You're like the curious george of whores
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
