don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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